Entry 100001(base 2)
Well my friends, it has been quite a while since I have last graced you with a new entry. Some of you emailed me wondering where I had gone, what had happened, or to congratulate me for stopping.
On another note, an age old question was answered for me yesterday by my friend Kreek. For centuries, I have wondered whether or not it is customary or expected for a person to tip a lifeguard once he has saved you. In fact, my uncertainty was so great that I refused to drown for fear of being rescued. Now according to Kreek, who is a lifeguard for the summer, one should tip a lifeguard if he saves your life.
God speed, John Glenn.... God speed.
Entry 32
I received more emails inquiring as to the story of Pam than I have for anything else, ever... in my whole life. So for you two, I will suck up the grief (man grief that is) and tell you a story about pain, love, good cookin, and stupidity all contained in one package I liked to call Pam.
I really don't remember how I met Pam, so there’s not much to be said there. Anyways, Pam was my girlfriend. Pam was one of those people I just always enjoyed being around. She had a personality that really clicked with mine and was always full of so much energy (plus, she smelled like pretty). And I'm not exaggerating when I say that Pam would have put Helen of Troy to shame ("the face that launched a 1001 spaceships", you know if Pam had been kidnapped by aliens or something, you know the space kind not the other ones, you know what i mean, you know?). Oh, and lest I forget, the girl could cook, man alive she could cook! I'll never forget that one time when Emeril came by to watch her cook dinner for me (it was really exciting because I kept on waiting for him to shout BAM! sadly he never did).
So to make sure you're keeping up so far, let me paint the picture for you. There was gorgeous, cooking, fun to be around, Pam (plus, she smelled like pretty) and there was me and to make this even sweeter, she liked me ( :)--< , :)-|-< , :)-\-< , that's me dancing in case you're wondering) So anyways, Pam and I were hanging out one night on top of the Haley Center. It was one of those nights when the moon hits your eye like a big glowing ball ( pizza pie, ha!) and I looked at Pam and I could tell by that mischievous grin on her face and that twinkling in her eyes that she had something crazy planned. Yeah, retarded crazy. She gets this insane notion that bungee jumping off the top of Haley would be fun.
I can't bear to continue any longer, I'm already in tears. I think the thing that saddens me the most is that no one else grieves for her loss. When once asked who Pam was, Wesley Shoaf replied "Pam is Josh's imaginary girlfriend." Imaginary! What?! It is a shame that Pam was afraid of cameras or I would have had some pictures to show just how real Pam was and how disillusioned Wesley is. Oh well, I must end this now before I completely break down. I think I will watch an episode of that delightful sitcom The Office, I really like the secretary.
Entry between 30 and 31
Okay... so about a month ago, maybe less, maybe more, I promised to update on a weekly basis. When I checked my sever logs to see how many people actually believed me I was disappointed to see only 8. To you loyal 8, I apologize for my vicious lie that I'm sure shattered all your remaining faith in humanity. However, in all fairness I asked for some feedback, and not one of you sent me any so I don't feel too bad (you can still redeem yourself though, send me an email). Nonetheless, I was devastated to find that my extensive ad campaign to generate interest had failed so miserably. In fact, my world was turned completely upside down. I became so depressed, that for a whole week I never left my apartment. My hiatus from life only ended when it did because I was in desperate need for paper towels and Krystal Burgers. These essential needs pulled me out of my apartment, but it was a lady named Catan that kept me from retreating back to my fortress of solitude.
Ah yes, she is a sweet temptress, whispering promises in my ear, reflecting my hopes and dreams, only to vanish a few hours later leaving nothing but a slightly queasy feeling in my stomach, a dull ringing in my ears, and a terrible headache. Actually, that was Spring Break(HI-OH!). No, Catan is much worse, she gives nothing while taking everything and when she leaves all you want is for her to return again. If you haven't been introduced to Catan, then I suggest you make time for her in your life, even if she is full of nothing but empty promises, she is well worth the while. Catan is my anti-drug, what's yours?
For those of you wondering how I manage time for both Catan and Pam, well Pam is dead so it's not a problem. If you don’t know who Pam is send me an email and perhaps I will elaborate further, that is if I can bear the pain of reliving our wonderful yet tragically short time together.
Entry 30
After no thought and deliberation, I have decided to attempt to start updating this webpage on a weekly schedule. From now on, expect an update near the end of every weekend. I think this will be good thing so that people will know when to come check out the website and won't stop coming after they have seen the same thing a few times not knowing when there will be new content. Also, I would like to start receiving more feedback, so send me an email on how you think best to do this.
As I promised you last week, I have my explanation of how the English Major is like a pyramid scheme which can be found here. I wrote it while doing my laundry last night, so hopefully it won't be too bad. Until next time...
Entry 27.12993
Okay, so its been quite sometime since the last time I've written, but that doesn't mean I've been lazy, just busy and partially lazy. I have to say though, the heavens have been conspiring against me, and from what I've been hearing I'm not the only one. I'm just going to lay it on the line for you, I have free internet. Whats that you say, if I have free internet how have the heavens been plotting my demise? Well friend, allow me to explain. From my apartment, there are two public wireless access points I can connect to. We will call the first one SaSS (Speedy and Strong Signal). The second one shall be called SaWS (Slow and Weak Signal). Up and till 2 weeks ago, I would often be able to connect to SaSS, and for the most part the experience was satifactory. Now however, while I can still connect to SaSS, it no longer seems to be hooked up to the internet which does me no good and probably a little bad. This leaves me with SaWS which on second thought should probably be called StDS (Slower than Dial-Up, Sucker) or perhaps IASToHaSIC (I Am So Tired of Having a Slow Internet Connection). Make sure you say that last one out loud. Having such a slow internet makes it very hard for me to do webpage stuff, like uploading and finding stuff to upload (because I am way to incompetent to make my own stuff). So, I am about to the point where I may start buying internet. I hear its cheaper in bulk.
Something to look forward to next time (if I feel like doing it) is my explanation of how the English Major is a pyramid scheme. I may just pass this off to Tito, because he said he would like to write about this and he would probably do a better job. I guess it really depends on what grade I get on my English Paper.
Entry 8
Well, as I promised you so many moons ago, I finally have a menu (look up ^, yeah its just those two links). Believe it or not, I spent many hours creating this menu, trying many different combinations and looks until I finally decided that there is something to be said for simplicity.
You're in for a lucky treat, for unbeknownst to me at the time, some stranger was taking pictures of me through my window during this creation process and was kind of enough to email them to me. I present to you my friend, a small sampling of these pictures arranged in chronological order that capture this truly magical process. Enjoy!
Oh yeah one other thing, while looking for other pictures I found this one which I think is really funny for some reason.
Entry 7
I present to you, the loyal viewing audience, 
. Why I realize there is still much to be done, I will no longer blush at the thought of someone taking a gander at my public form of self-expression. I still plan on adding a menu at some point, although what the menu will have links to, I have no idea. Also, I'm going to start shifting older entries to an archive page. So, take heart my loyal serfs and carry yourselves with newfound cheer.
Oh yeah, for any interested, here is a screenshot of the old page before the addition of logo and stylesheet.
Entry 4
Alright, as you can quite plainly see, I'm still struggling to get this website up and looking half-way decent (not Jessica Simpson decent, but more like Rosie O'Donald). Since I have a three day weekend coming up I'm going to try to make a logo, a stylesheet, and perhaps a menu?
Because I'm working so hard to get this site up, I'm still struggling with content. I offer you this from highschool, a guide to juggling I made for a Flash Class. To makes this even more fun, there are a couple of "Easter Eggs" in the guide, kind of like in the Strongbad Emails, except not nearly as funny... or clever...yeah. As an added bonus, I'm also including the not so famous Mr. Twizzle. Enjoy!
Entry 3
As you can see, I am now labeling my entries. Yet instead of using dates as is the all too common norm, I am instead numbering my entries incrementally. This way you'll never know when the last update was and will be more inclined to believe that I'm doing more work. However you, the shrewd observer might notice that this entry should not be labeled 3, but instead 2! This is also part of my cunning plan to make it seem that I'm doing more work than in reality. Now, onto the content!
Unfortunately, I really don't have any content. I did however, run into two people this week that I thought I would never see again. One was Eileen, who is a student of the University of Alabama, yet for some odd reason is in my English class here at Auburn. The other was Kate, who had at one point left Auburn but has now returned, realizing it to be the only goodness in the world.
Well, I decided to start a webpage, who knows what good may come of it. Being a startup, I really don't have any content except for this little piece I created one day at work. Speaking of work, allow me to relate one of my crazy antics so that you might get an idea of how incredibly {insert adjective} the majority of my work experience was.
One day Raghov, David, and myself traveled to a local park to test radios in a mesh network configuration (at this point the majority of you have already stopped reading to stare at the sexy picture below). Now we set up these big gray metallic electric meters throughout the park and elevated them up on cardboard boxes. For power we used a 12 volt car battery and a power converter. Apparently one of the park patrons found this suspicious and decided to call the police who then came boiling in along with a firetruck a few minutes later. I just stood there wondering what was going on. Luckily, David figured why they probably showed up and convinced them we weren't planting bombs throughout the park. They left, and the mesh network was a success.
Yeah, um... I guess this webpage thing was a terrible idea, my only condolence is that noone will see this.
