Here it is...the MOTHER of all Korean/Asian lists! (Kind of like the mother of all suitcases, Missy.) You probably have seen all or part of this list. If you have any more suggestions, then please email me and, if I like them, I'll add them. The ones my sensitive and politically correct friends use on me are in bold. So are some of my favorites. Enjoy!
you only eat at restaurants whose names end or begin with adjectives like "wonderful" or "fun" (i.e. china fun, wonderful chinese restaurant, tastes good)
your mother has a short-haired, curly perm
your parents still try to get you into places half-price saying you were
12 when you were really 15
you ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later, they're
still lecturing
you have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry
everyone thinks you're CHINESE no matter what part of Asia your ancestors
were from
you've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life
your parents enjoy comparing you to their friend's kids friends...(but
when you compare them to other parents, they say, "DON'T COMPARE!")
your parents say, "don't forget your heritage."
you drive mostly Japanese cars
you've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom
you've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs
piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet
doors
you hear (your name + ee (optional)+yah!) every time someone calls
you.(e.g. Jean-ee-yah! or Mary-yah!)
idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages,
like the every-so-popular: ching chong woo bok chi, etc.
your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin
at least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses
you see an asian woman on campus or in the mall or wherever and people ask, "Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?"
everyone thinks you're good at math
you like $1.50 movies
your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Korea, with
fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make no sense, in great
colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange, and the ever-so-popular lime green
your parents insist you marry a Korean
you learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your
parents
your parents say, "you want a stereo?!? When i was your age, I didn't
even have shoes!"
you have 12+ "aunties" and "uncles"
you will most likely be taller than your parents
your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin, or both
when going to other peoples' houses, you always have to bring a gift
your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with
the blue and pink stripes at the top
your family owns a tennis racquet, golf clubs, or both
your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e., Michael
Chang, Ichiro Sazaki)
the furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the
decorations or any of the rest of the furniture
you own a rice cooker or two
you buy soy sauce by the gallon
your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head
you live with your Hal-moh-nee
you parents own a liquor store, dry cleaner, or some kind of discount
store
you drive a lowered, fixed up integra, eclipse, or some kind of Honda
you love Sanrio stuff
you do that twirling thing with your pen
you always have a box of Sapporo Ichiban ramyun or Yook-eh-jang
even though your family isn't super rich, you own a Mercedes or Lexus
you bring home all A's and one B, and your parents yell, "Why did you
get a B?"
there is a 75% chance that you'll marry someone with the same last name
white people always say, "Say my name in korean!"
when the bill comes, you practically beat each other up- saying that'
YOU'LL pay for the bill (this is true...my mom and her sisters do this A LOT)
when you were in Junior High, you were a nerd
you either have to be a doctor, lawyer, or some big-time business tychoon
when some mega-mega nerd student is in the korean newspaper, your parents
say, "why can't you be like him?"
no matter how well your parents speak english, they can't say
"wood"
People ask, "Hey, show me some Jackie Chan moves!"
When someone points you out, they say "that one chinese girl (or guy).
Your parents were ecstatic when the '88 Olympics were held in Korea
You know how to do the "kimchi squat"
You do that sickening loogie thing out of nowhere
Girls--Everwhere you go, you look like you're ready to go clubbing
Girls--You have this shrilly whiny voice that goes along with "oppaaaahhh"
Girls--You shave off your eyebrows and just pencil two thin lines in
Girls--You wear 500 inch heels to compensate for you under 5 feet height
Girls--No matter how skinny you are, you are still on a diet
Girls--At parties, you always dance in big groups
Girls--You only go for guys with nice fixed-up cars
Girls--You own at least one pair of the black "regulation clubbing pants"
Girls--Even when it's freezing cold, you still wear very revealing clothes
Girls--You get that eye surgery thing, even though it makes you look like a fish
Girls--Your hair is almost yellow
your mom sings chan-son-gahs (hymns) while driving
you have a gazillion small containers in your fridge and even though they smells pretty nasty, you still eat it.
your parents raise their hand as if they're going to hit you, and you
totally shudder, shrinking back.
You long for some good ol' Korean cooking.
You have the ability to tell the different Asians apart (ie. Chinese,
Japanese, Vietnamese).
You go to American restaurants, and your dad eats really wild and rudely,
so you put your head down while whispering, "apppaaahhhhh stooopp!"
Your parents make you work at their business (ie liquor store, cleaners,
discount store).
You bring home a white friend, and your parents immediately think that
he/she sleeps around, uses drugs, and parties 24-7.
When your mom hears or watches something sad, she'll make this repeated
sound really fast like "tte" a million times a minute.
Kumon is a household word.
When guests are leaving your house, you have to stand outside your house
saying bye to them, not to mention bowing a gazillion times.
You'll go to a movie with your parents, and afterwards, they'll say "I
don't understand."
You'll buy a shirt full price, and your parents will yell, "What! You
could have bought that for $2 at the swap meet!"
you're going out with a friend and your parents need to know their name,
where they live, their phone #, what their parents do for a living, what kind
of grades they get, what they got on their SATs, how they dress, if they go to
church, and if they're male or female.
After you're get off the phone with someone from the opposite sex, your
parents will start interrogating you about that person (except the last one).
You'll talk to someone from the opposite sex two days in a row, and your
parents immeditaely think there's something going on.
You bring home straight As, and your parents say, "So? You're supposed to
get that! When I was in Korea..."
Your mom will laugh with her hand covering her mouth.
Any member of your family picks their teeth at the table with one hand while "covering" with the other hand.
You have a mini-van which your mom drives.
You'll be cooking kalbi outside, and neighbors will ask what the aroma is.
You think EVERYTHING is racial, like if someone is mildy rude to you.
You'll have all this "asian pride" or "Korean Pride" yet know nothing
about your culture.
You only talk to the asian people in your class.
If you're a girl, In the early 90's, you had the "wave bangs" where they
went up like 3 feet high while slowly cascading down.
You think Koreans are above all other Asians.
You are/were in Key Club.
If you're a guy, you'll have this certain "asian-guy" walk.
If you go to a JC and when asked, you always say your JC name immediately
with the statement "then transferring to a UC (or other big school)".
You go to any fastfood restaurant and your mother tells you to make sure
nobody is watching so she can stuff extra napkins, ketchup packets, plastic
forks, etc. into her bag.
You have a stack of bright yellow Wendy's napkins on your dining room
table.
You have perfect attendance from grades K through 12.
Your mother's friend is cooking hot dogs for the family and says to you,
"Here 10 dolla, go get some south-crop!" Then it takes you ten minutes to
figure out she meant saurkraut.
You are on the parkway with your grandmother and says to you in Korean,
"Are you hungry? Do you want to stop at Roy-jurors?(Roy Rogers)
You are with a friend of the opposite sex and give a friendship hug goodbye,
and your mother witnesses it and starts flipping out like you just lost your
virginity or something and you hear her go, "O-mo, O-mo-na!!"
Your parents encourage you not to get into fights, but if it is about your
nationality or race, "Beat the crap out of them, bon-choo-gyu-na, tell them
your father was a blackbelt in Korea."
You have ginseng in your kitchen.
there is some form of ginseng in the house
your ice cubes in the freezer have some sort of kim-chee smell to it
you have one of those one foot high dinner tables you sit on the floor with
you have a straw mat
you have any type of electrical massager
your parents have one of those car seat covers made out of those wooden
accupuncture beads
your mother owns a nail salon
your fathers and uncles have really built and muscular looking calves
your father has no facial hair, chest hair, back, and arm hair, except for
three long hairs sticking out of each nipple
you have a coffee mug from church in the house with korean writing on it
your mother wants you home by midnight during prom night
Your mama never shaves her armpits
your elders spontaneously fart out of nowhere while you're talking to
them- but it's perfectly polite
you raise your leg by accident and your white friend says, "Hey is that
karate?"
your parents hve the R's and L's backwards
you have a homepage
your grandfather wants to kill you dog and eat it
Dye your hair...reddish brown for best results (but then again, blonde
turns out to be reddish-brown anyway)
You must drive an Acura Integra or Honda Civic
A pager is a life necessity. (Or a cell phone...or both)
Only wear clothes in the exciting shades of black and white (occaisionally
cream, brown, gray allowed)
Always dress like you're goin to a party...even when your goin to Walmart.
Fit 9 people in a car, when the limit is 5.
There must be a stringy, Oriental-looking ornament dangling from the
mirror of your souped-up car.
Please don't be offended. This is all in fun. I love you, Mom!!! These are just stupid
stereotypes that I find funny. If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?
This is not original material. It is a compilation of stuff I found on the web.