Talkin’ Smack

Matthew Shelley
Assistant Sports Editor


By day, he’s mild-mannered student Allan Westenhofer — but at night, he becomes the amazing master of the mat, Foochi! The Plainsman pinned Westenhofer down for a quick interview and discovered the source of his killer instinct.

I know this is completely irrelevant to what you do, but who’s your favorite pro wrestler?

I don’t even know that I can give you a pro wrestler, except for The Rock.



If you were a super hero, what would your name be?

Well, I got a nickname that all the wrestlers call me. I’ve had the nickname since, like, middle school. Everyone calls me Foochi. My last name is Westenhofer and they called me Westefoochi. So I’ve always just been called Foochi.



If you had a sidekick, what would it be?

Let me think. This is a tough one. Who do you have for a sidekick?

I don’t know. I’d have a tiger — a little tiger cub.



Who is your hero?

I’d say Tyler Durden from “Fight Club.” He can put up with anything and just keep fighting.



If you had a catchphrase, what would it be?

“Everybody falls down.” It’s inevitable. It just matters how fast you get up.



What is Spam made of?

Um, hearts of pig and others. I don’t know; it’s just pig others.



Explain the difference between wrestling and ’rasslin.

Wrestling is something you do with a referee on a wrestling mat. ’Rasslin is something you do with your friends ... or girlfriend.



If you could wrestle one celebrity, who would it be?

Ghandi.



How did I know you were going to say that? Who would win in a fight between Chuck Norris and Darth Vader?

Darth Vader.



So you’re not down with the whole Chuck Norris thing? You know his tears can cure cancer, right? Yeah, unfortunately, he’s never cried. Sorry, I had to get that joke off my chest. OK, here’s a real humdinger here. Define antidisestablishmentarianism.

You ask me this when I get off work at 1 in the morning. It’s a fancy way of saying you just got knocked off your horse.



You know those little candy hearts with the stupid sayings that you get around Valentine’s Day? Confectionery masterpieces or fruity Rolaids?

Fruity Rolaids.



Thank you! What’s your favorite sports movie?

I don’t know. “Remember the Titans.”



What’s your favorite movie quote?

I draw blanks now. If you ask me any other time of the day, I’d have a ton of them to shoot off for you. Oh; “Until you’ve hit rock bottom, you’ll never know who you really are” (Fight Club).