You Might be a Lindy Hopper if:

You might be a Lindy Hopper if:

More than one person can fit in your pants.
You think its cool to wear short, fat, ties.
You take the mirrors off your ceiling and put them on the walls.
You have black and white feet.
You go Lindy Hopping on the way to a Lindy Hop lesson.
You eat more than your own weight in food every day.
The first question you ask a girl is "How much do you weigh?"
You think that the next number after eight is one.
When you pick up girls, you pick up girls...
One of your standard evening accessories is an ankle brace.
You no longer buy clothes you can't dance in.
Someone says vintage, they're not talking about wine.
You buy Advil in the jumbo economy size.
You frequently show up at work with a limp and/or bruises.
You can't pass a shoe store without checking to see if they have spectators, even if you already have several pairs.
You carry luggage to social events but aren't planning a trip.
You underwear is an occasionally visible part of your evening ensemble.
You can't watch other forms of dance without trying to identify moves that could be turned into Lindy steps or aerials.
You Lindy Hop in the gas station parking lot while waiting for a cab.
You spend every long weekend at Lindy camps, workshops or competitions.
You schedule business trips around dance nights.
You only go home to sleep, to do laundry and to repack your dance bag.
You eat your main meal of the day at one in the morning.
You think about Lindy Hop whenever you're not actually doing it.
Your non-dance friends keep hoping that you'll come to your senses so they can see you in person again.
You find you have more in common with the W.W.II vets in the VA than your friends and fellow students.
You've found that Gucci loafers slathered with White-Out just don't look as good as Stacy Adams.
Your heartbeat is an eight-count.
Aerials? Did someone say Aerials?
You mutter "philistine" under your breath when you see (gasp) clip suspenders.
Your wife wonders why you must have a suspended wood dance floor in your basement.
The Salvation Army people are getting suspicious.
You saw Swing Kids five times and you didn't even like it.
The only thing you can think of doing with a time machine is going back to the forties and picking up some vintage threads.
Your ties have been known to cause epileptic seizures.
When you have a chance to video tape sexy sexy ladies and studly guys, you aim the camera only at their feet.
You are a woman and you begin shopping for underwear at Sports Authority, instead of Victoria's Secret.
Your newest line is "Hey, are those Bleyers?" and you really do want to talk about shoes.
Your friends no longer bother to ask you what you're doing on Friday, Saturday, Sunday...nights.
You think an iced bottle of water is the ultimate prize for a dance contest.
You routinely bring a change of clothes, water, and a towel or two for a night out (in addition to the aforementioned ankle brace).
You don't wear your dance shoes off the dance floor.
You sweat through your dance partner's shirt.
You leave the floor on slow numbers.
Most of your CDs are AAD.
You evaluate the quality of CD players based on whether they skip when you and two of your closest friends jump up and down right next to them.
You don't need a sweater in January.
Your non-dancing friends (all two of them) start to refer to you as "obsessed" or "rabid."
Your dancing friends refer to you as "obsessed" or "rabid."
You tell those two non-dancing friends NOT to come visit you any weekend a big swing event is on because you know they won't want to go and you'll either go and feel guilty, or miss it and MISS IT!!!
You practice shim sham steps sitting at your desk at work.
You drink more than your own weight in water every day.
You Lindy Hop in the Metro station while waiting for your train after a Lindy Hop lesson.
You are a "swinger" with multiple partners who likes to "shag", several times a night and enjoys "messin' around" during breaks.
People know and greet you only by a nickname, not of your own choosing, bestowed upon you by fellow dancers.
You bought a copy of Disney's "The Jungle Book" to see the animated Lindy dancing monkeys.
People could read a message written on the soles of your shoes during your part in the jam.
You make people gasp when you dance.
You make people laugh when you dance.
Alcohol impairs your dancing instead of loosens you up.
Home improvement includes removing carpeting, installing wood floors, and putting mirrors on the walls.
You're simply too busy dancing to have that affair with the President.
Its possible that your nipples are not visible above your pants.
You practice Shorty George walking to work.
People could read a message written on your underwear during your part in the jam.
You know people by their dance nicknames, like "Dipping Bill" or "Lindy Bill", "Backless dress Wendy" or "Crazy Redhead Wendy" or "Mean Chris..."
You have philosophical and political discussions about Zoot Suits.
You choreograph Lindy Hop routines in the car.
You try out the Lindy Hop routines you've choreographed in the car... while driving.