It can happen t o you.

You were told he was a nice guy, friends left you at a party to ride with him, you thought you could trust him ... so was it rape?

The terms "date" or "acquaintance" rape are used when intercourse occurs against your will with someone with wh om you are familiar or with whom you have had an ongoing social relationship, Susan Martin, graduate assistant in Auburn's health education department, said.

"And date rape can happen not only with a female victim/male perpetrator but with the male bei ng the victim and a female perpetrator, or a same-sex rape," Martin said.

Rape or attempted rape is more common than people realize because it is usually not reported, Dr. Barry R. Burkhart, professor of psychology at the University, said.

Burkhart is considered a national expert on date rape and has written several articles on the subject.

"I bet if you go ask your (girl) friends, 50 percent of them would tell you 'yeah, this guy was all over me with his hands and I had a hard time getting him t o stop'," Burkhart said.

"There's this idea that somehow this is a legitimate kind of social behavior," Burkhart said.

According to national statistics, date rape is reported only once in every 10 occurrences.

"Because of the cultural view of rap e as involving a stranger, many women who had experiences fitting the legal description of rape, but involving acquaintances, do not define themselves as having been raped," Burkhart said.

Some men have the idea that sexual encounters initiated in a st ruggle and resistance should be normal, he said. "And its in that context that acquaintance rape occurs," he said.

What to do if rape occurs

Notify police about the attack. Don't shower or change clothes. It is essential that the victim have an exami nation within 24 hours after a rape occurs for collection of physical evidence.

The "Rape Kit" used by hospitals is provided at no cost to the victim.

"This kit also includes testing for sexually transmitted diseases, but a HIV test is offered for a fee," Becky Brown, director of public relations at East Alabama Medical Center, said.

It is also important for a victim to seek counseling in order to deal with the effects of rape.

"If a woman has been attacked sexually, there is trauma associ ated there," Robin Kurtz, clinical psychologist at Drake Student Health Center, said.

"The trauma may need to be addressed because it can hinder the possibilities of a healthy, trusting relationship in the future," Kurtz said.

An Auburn student, na me withheld, experienced an attempted date rape a few weeks ago and is seeking counseling to deal with her feelings of guilt, shame and anger.

"The bad memories come flashing back. I was sexually abused as a child and was told not to make noise or tell anyone about what was going on," she said.

"When my date attacked me, I found it very hard to stand up for myself Ñ and the feelings of being the 'quiet good child' were overwhelming me," she said.

Rape can happen whether the victim is passed out, too drunk to refuse, too scared to argue or for some other reason, does not give consent.

"Rape isn't just about sex, it's about power and domination," Burkhart said.

Date rape prevention

"The messages are the same for both men and women," Martin said. "Be cautious, think ahead and be responsible Ñ especially with alcohol."

"So many p eople come to college and have experienced alcohol but may not know their exact limits. Alcohol can be a very dangerous substance," Martin said.

"Use common sense. Go to parties with friends and leave with friends. And remember, you are worthy of someo ne's respect," Martin said.

Using clear communication on both sides of an intimate situation will determine limits, wants and desires.

Burkhart said there has to be an awareness that not all men are trustworthy. "That's a real sad state of affairs," he said.

A University student group, CADRE, (Creating Awareness and Developing Responsibility through Education) offers peer education programs on various subjects, including date rape.

"The student volunteers are trained and available to talk with groups and clubs on campus," Casandra Martin, 03MK, CADRE president, said.

"And they do an excellent job of getting messages across on a student's level," she said.

To request CADRE's services, contact Drake Student Health Center at 844-6106 and as k for the health education department.

Beware!

What's adding a new twist to the threat of date rape is the emergence of a modern-day mickey.

Commonly prescribed as a sedative in about 60 countries, Rohypnol has been reported in Florida and Te xas in connection with sexual assault, and it may be making its way north.

A sedative 10 times more powerful than valium, Rohypnol can be unknowingly slipped into victim's drinks, and creates a drunken effect that can last up to eight hours.

The gre atest danger of the drug with the street name "roofies" is a temporary amnesia state, during which a person could be raped and would not remember.

According to The Crimson White, the student health center at the University of Alabama has had at least t wo incidents of date rape associated with "roofies."

The EAMC emergency staff is aware of the drug and its effects, but has not seen its use in Auburn yet, Brown said.

The U.S. government recently banned the importation of the "little white pills," stating that they posed a threat to teenagers and young adults and have no legitimate therapeutic use.

Advice from an expert

"Trust your instincts and common sense. Dating is a 'contact sport,' and you have to be prepared for the fact that some of th e people who play, play unfair," Burkhart said.