Introduction of Presenters and Auburn Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual Caucus

The Allies Project: What it is and Why we need it

Being an Ally: Considerations, Tools, and Responsibilities

Developing Awareness: Being Straight on a Gay Planet

Developing Knowledge: Vocabulary and Myths

Developing Skills: Assertiveness and Communication

More Than Good Intentions: Taking Action

Questions

• You value the presence and contributions of LGBT people on Auburn’s campus.

• You welcome dialogue and interaction with LGBT colleagues and students.

• You are able to discuss issues that impact LGBT people in a non-judgmental way.

• You are willing to assist LGBT students and colleagues with finding support and information resources on campus and in the area.

• You are able to maintain confidentiality. You should never disclose another person’s sexual orientation unless you have been specifically told that it is acceptable to do so.

• You use inclusive language, avoid stereotyping, and do not assume heterosexuality.

• L&BT students and colleagues may self-censor their speech less, resulting in more genuine and realistic interactions. You may gain a fuller picture of your students’ and colleagues’ lives and concerns. They may feel more at ease discussing issues, since they will anticipate a non-judgmental attitude.

• You may never notice any difference in your interactions with students and colleagues, but you will make a difference. Your participation will be a personal contribution to improving the campus climate and the lives of your LGBT colleagues and students.

• You will probably receive a variety of both positive and negative responses. You may receive criticism or resistance from non-allies. You will also receive gratitude.

• You will not be expected to be an expert or a counselor. We will provide resource lists for your use and we are always available to answer your questions or address concerns. And, you will probably make mistakes—that’s okay. Don’t let it keep you from trying.

• You will not be likely to hear intimate self-disclosures, though this may happen.

• Posting the "safe zone" card will not send a message that you personally are gay. Not posting the "safe zone" card will not mean that you are intolerant.

Sexual Orientation: the sexual/affectional attraction that a person feels either to members of the same sex (gay, lesbian); the opposite sex (heterosexual); both sexes (bisexual); or neither Sex.

Homophobia: the fear and hatred of gay, lesbian, or bisexual people. Includes discrimination, harassment, and acts of violence brought on by that fear and hatred.

Heterosexism: the system of advantages bestowed on heterosexuals. An institutional response to homophobia which assumes that all people are or should be heterosexual and therefore excludes the needs, concerns, and life experiences of gay, lesbian, and bisexual people.

Transgender: Generally used as an umbrella term for people who are not comfortable being confined to the roles of male and female as they are defined by our society. For example, a transgendered person may be sexually a male, but identify more closely with the societal role of a woman...or vice versa. Being transgendered does not necessarily mean that the person is not happy with their sex; it means they are not happy with how society tells them to express their sex.

Transsexual: A person who chooses to change their sex assignment. There are several types of transsexuals: Preoperative (planning to have sex reassignment surgery), Postoperative (having gone through sex reassignment surgery), and Nonoperative (choosing not to have sex reassignment surgery).

Transvestite: A person who crossdresses for pleasure and who may be heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual.

Myth: Gays are trying to get "special rights."
Reality: There is nothing "special" about the rights that LGBT people seek. Currently they have no federal protection from discrimination in employment, public accommodations, or housing. Only ten states extend such protection. LGBT people can be fired, denied housing, and denied public accommodations solely because of their sexual orientation. Gay and lesbian couples are prohibited from having their relationships legally recognized. They can be denied hospital visitation privileges, sick and bereavement leave, and the ability to make medical decisions for each other.

Myth: Gay men, lesbians, and bisexual people don’t have stable relationships.
Reality: In fact, studies have shown that the majority of people who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual are in committed, coupled relationships. A survey in San Francisco showed that 58% of gay men and 81% of lesbians were in long-term, coupled relationships. Another survey of 156 male couples showed that the average length of relationship was 8.9 years.

Myth: Gay men are child molesters.
Reality: Studies show that 90-95% of child molesters are heterosexual men, usually relatives of the child involved. In fact, 45% of child sexual abuse is committed by the father. 97% of sex offenders against children are male and 90% of the victims are female. Even in cases of same-sex molestation, offenders typically report that they are not interested in—and are even repulsed by—homosexual activity. Pedophiles tend to be motivated by power, control, and hostility rather than by sexual desire.

Myth: Children raised by lesbian, gay, or bisexual people will grow up to be lesbian, gay, or bisexual … or will be confused about their sexual identity or gender … or will be unhappy.
Reality: Studies show that children raised by LGB parents are no more likely to turn out lesbian, gay, or bisexual themselves than are children raised by heterosexual parents. In addition, numerous studies have shown that children of LGB parents are just as well adjusted as children of heterosexual parents.

Myth: Gays "recruit" young people.
Reality: The California Commission on Personal Privacy (Report #364) concluded that, "it is as likely that the left handed minority will convert members of the right handed majority as it is that homosexuals can convert heterosexuals." J. Weinstein, M.D. (past president of the American Psychiatric Association) states, "Fears of ‘catching’ homosexuality or of being ‘recruited’ at school or elsewhere are unreasonable and … utterly without scientific foundation." Many LGB people realize their sexual orientation before they ever have a sexual experience with another person of the same sex. When they do have sexual experiences, they are more likely to have them with someone relatively close to their age and life circumstances.

Myth: Gay and lesbian people are sick.
Reality: As of 1973, the American Psychiatric Association determined that homosexuality is neither a mental illness nor a form of sexual deviance. Both the American Psychiatric and the American Psychological Associations support equal rights for lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals. A 1975 policy statement by the American Psychological Association states, "Homosexuality per se implies no impairment in judgment, stability, reliability, or general social and vocational capabilities...the APA supports and urges the enactment of civil rights legislation at the local, state, and federal levels that would offer homosexuals the same protections now guaranteed to others on the basis of race, creed, color, etc."

Myth: There aren’t very many gay or lesbian people.
Reality: The Kinsey Studies (1947, 1953) found that 10% of men and 7% of women were exclusively gay or lesbian throughout their lives. Homosexual behavior is found in every known culture, as well as in the animal kingdom. It is difficult to accurately measure the number of gay and lesbian people because of the societal stigma attached to their sexual orientation.

Myth: Being gay is a choice.
Reality: Research suggests that sexual orientation is biological. Why would someone choose to experience prejudice, discrimination, harassment, violence, and rejection?

Myth: The Bible says it’s wrong.
Reality: Several passages are commonly cited as condemnations of homosexual behavior. Many clergy members and religious scholars have rejected these interpretations, realizing that issues of cultural context and translation must be taken into consideration. Many churches openly accept gay and lesbian people in their congregations and perform commitment ceremonies.

Myth: Lesbians really want to be men and gay men really want to be women.
Reality: This confuses the issue of sexual orientation with that of gender identity. Being gay or lesbian is about your sexual orientation -- who you are attracted to, not who or what you want to be.

Myth: Lesbians are man haters.
Reality: Lesbians love women, they don’t hate men. They may be frustrated or angry at heterosexual male privilege and power, but not necessarily at men themselves.

Myth: You can spot a gay man or lesbian by how they dress.
Reality: Guess again!

Myth: Gay people just want to flaunt their sexuality. Look at those parades!
Reality: In fact, most LGBT people don’t really want to discuss their sex lives— they just want to be honest about their relationships, their families, their struggles. Heterosexual people display their sexuality whenever they wear a wedding ring, mention a spouse of the opposite sex, or put family photos on their desk. LGBT people should be able to do the same things, without fear of criticism or harassment. The right wing has repeatedly sensationalized Gay Pride parades, focusing only on the most outrageous participants. The majority of people marching in those parades look just like everybody else.

• Educate yourself. Learn about the history, culture, feelings, struggles, pride, and needs of LGBT people. Read, ask questions, watch videos, attend talks or workshops. Look at LGBT publications. Go through a day imagining that you are gay or lesbian. If you know someone who is gay, ask if they would be willing to share their experiences or answer your questions.

• Challenge yourself. Are you as supportive of your LGBT friend during a breakup or the start of a new romance as you would be of a heterosexual friend? Do you ask about a person’s same-sex partner in the same way that you ask about opposite-sex partners? Are you as comfortable seeing same-sex public displays of affection as you are with heterosexual ones? When you think of LGBT people, do you think of them as whole people or do you focus on their sexuality? Do you avoid confronting homophobic remarks because you’re afraid of being labeled as gay, lesbian, or bisexual?

• Educate others. Share your knowledge, challenge stereotypes, confront myths. Sponsor a speaker on LGBT issues. Show related films. Include LGBT people in your bulletin board displays, lectures, classroom examples. Share news and announcements about LGBT issues and events. Invite discussion about LGBT issues.

• Speak out. Challenge the homophobia and inequities that you see. Interrupt and challenge homophobic jokes or comments. Correct stereotypes and myths. Write letters. 5hare your opinions with newspaper editors, government representatives, community leaders, businesses. Write about the things that need to be changed -- and write to express your support when positive changes are made. Wear an LGBT-affirmative button. Support efforts to enact non-discrimination policies and domestic partnership benefits. Vote.

• Be a role model. Provide your family, friends, colleagues -- and especially the children in your life -- with positive, realistic images of LGBT people. Counter the negative messages prevalent in our society. Take pride in your friendships with LGBT people. Demonstrate your commitment to diversity in your conversations, classrooms, student and faculty recruitment, etc. Make it clear that you are an ally -- remember that LGBT people are wondering how safe the environment is for them.

• Don’t assume. Don’t assume heterosexuality. Don’t assume that being LGBT is just about being sexual. Don’t assume that LGBT people don’t have, like, or want children. Practice using inclusive language.

• Break the silence. Don’t be afraid to say the words out loud—gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender.